The truth is that your vaginal wall muscles simply snap back after penetration. If you want to have intense anal play, you can still do it with care. Once the receiver is more relaxed and turned on, that becomes less of an issue.
Remember that having unprotected anal sex puts you and your partner at higher risk of HIV and other STIs such as hepatitis A and shigella than other sexual activities. Start with one well-lubed finger, then move to two. And when those emotions are linked to past experiences of painful sex or sexual trauma, they can be held even more tightly. Get yourself some reliable lube. Even slower than that. For penetrative sex, make sure you use a condom and lots of lube — some people feel safer using extra-thick condoms for anal sex. The anus is not a muscle that naturally stretches to allow objects inside of it. It needs to be gently stretched and kneaded. You can use either a external condom which goes on penises or sex toys or an internal condom which goes in vaginas or anuses, also called a female condom for anal sex, depending on your preference. That gives you the room to focus on how you touch them and what you communicate to them through your fingers. The number one best suggestion I have for making anal sex amazing is to slow down. Consider how an intense, deep back massage can be given with care while also being quite powerful. The wetter the better. When stimulated, prostate orgasms can make climax up to 33 percent more intense. Before you try to jump into anal all Devil-may-care, there are some very important things you need to know. Anal training can take anywhere from a few hours to a few months. There must be consent. Think of it as making the new thing a side dish rather than the main course. This is especially important for folks who are just beginning to explore anal play. In other words, life! You must have a sit down conversation with your partner and talk it out. Be prepared to address any concerns. My book and workshops have all of the how-to tips to make it pleasurable, but the right attitude is even more important than the technical skills. This means doing your research ie: Tight vaginas are the thing right now.
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